A garguantuan space pig, an evil red baron, a bearnapping witch… Rare has had some rather odd villains throughout the years, each with their own evil desires and ambitions. But who is the worst of the worst? The greatest dastardly fiend of them all? I’ve rattled my brain for the answer and have thusly determined that these are Rare’s seven greatest villains…

7. Eyedol

Killer Instinct was tough. Fighting your way to the top was no easy task and when you finally do get there, you have to deal with a double-headed, club wielding beast from hell known as Eyedol. If by this time you still haven’t mastered the art of the combo, then eternal damnation in the fiery pits below will surely be your newfound residence.

6. Alec Trevlyan

Bungie jumping, train rides, imprisonment, espionage, betrayal. What is still donned by many as the greatest first person shooter of all-time, Goldeneye 007 had it all. While the multiplayer garnered the majority of the praise, the single player was just as brilliant and offered a unique challenge like no other when Bond is betrayed by fellow agent Alec Trevlyan, a.k.a 006. This results in a gun battle thousands of feet in the air with a rushed time to stop the Goldeneye satellite and ultimately Trevlyan himself.

5. Wizpig

“Sorry to break the party worms but I had to say goodbye”. Diddy Kong Racing wasn’t a ride through the park. The silver coin challenges were brutal and the boss battles rough and tough, particularly the main villain, Wizpig, who was a diabolical, giant porky that took over Timber Island and turned the island’s true champion racer, Drumstick, into a frog using his magical powers. One thing he didn’t expect, however, was the help from an unexpected chimp from a distant land and Taj the purple, magic carpet riding elephant genie (yes…I’m serious…). But don’t think that he took over for nothing! Wizpig is, undoubtably, a tough as nails racer himself, and both races against him will put all of your driving skills to the ultimate test.

4. Professor Pester

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You’re relaxing in your Garden. Perhaps teaching your newly acquired Bunnycomb a new trick, having a house for your Fizzlybear constructed, maybe just simply planting some tall grass for your Syrupent…then WHAM! A horriic scream fills the Garden, as does some fresh candy, the tasty innards of one of your precious Pinatas. This is the work of none other than Professor Pester, ruler of the Ruffians and all things evil in the world of Viva Pinata. No Pinata is safe when this dastardly fiend intrudes upon your Garden with an iron stick, so you’d best be prepared to protect your Pinatas at all costs! I recommend a dummy Horstachio. Pester may be tough and mean, but he can’t tell the difference between a real Pinata and a fake one. Idiot.

3. Mizar

Jet Force Gemini is Rare’s most challenging game on the Nintendo 64. Rare was relentless in it’s design having the player do the most difficult of tasks in order to progress to the game’s final conclusion. With this being said, it should come as no surprise that the boss battles were the toughest to offer on the system as well…if not the toughest in any Rare developed game in the history of the company! None of the bosses, however, compare to Mizar. He took over nearly every planet in the Galaxy and held hostage the poor Tribal race, which led the Jet Force Gemini team on the excursion to put an end to his diabolical schemes. The forces of good were surely tested, however, as the final showdown with the tyrant was as intense as they come. Victory, though, only led to an unexpected twist, as Mizar’s true identity was revealed…

2. Gruntilda

“It really does seem quite absurd, adventure of a bear and bird”. Indeed, it is. The Banjo-Kazooie series is Rare’s longest running franchise full of magical worlds and creatures that the bear and bird duo must tackle on their way to defeat the ever scheming witch, Gruntilda Winkybunion. She’s kidnapped poor Banjo’s sister in the name of beauty, sucked the life force out of Bottles and King Jingaling for restoration of a skinless body, possessed the contraption of a mechanical robot, and most recently battled in a set of races to earn the deed to Spiral Mountain. Each time, however, Banjo and Kazooie put an end to her ill intentions, leaving her with nothing but future desires on her next attempt to outdo the duo. Perhaps next time she’ll succeed! Or perhaps not…

1. King K. Rool

He’s amphibious, fat, has really sharp teeth and a master of disguise…and loves bananas?! I’m still quite uncertain as to why an alligator would want bananas to begin with, but in the land of Donkey Kong Country, this indeed the case. King K. Rool enjoys nothing more than stealing Donkey Kong’s precious banana hoard and when this absurd act of evil gets him nowhere, he takes it to the next level by actually apenapping, chimpnapping, and monkeynapping (okay…I’ll stop) the Kongs. Each and every time he takes on a new disguies, from being himself, a Kaptain pirate, an estranged scientist and even a professional boxer. Of course, these disguises to do nothing to help his cause, as the Kongs are family and work together to ensure they prevail over the reptilian king.

Do you all agree with this list? What is your greatest Rare villain?